Insights – Page 3 – Direct Insights

How To Find Your True Self

Bibobra Michael Alabrah

“The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without purpose.” – Dr. Myles Munroe

Who Am I?

The answer to this thought-provoking question will change your life forever because you would have to dig deep into your very foundations and question your values and principles upon which you have built your personality and formed your philosophies about several aspects of life.

Is it important to know who I am?

Well it is not important if you don’t want to become who you were made to be, if you are comfortable been led by others in every aspect of your life (lack of self-believe in yourself), if you are afraid to face the truth, if you are afraid to be honest with yourself, if you are afraid of your uniqueness, if you love to be in a bandwagon(follow-the-crowd or go-with-the-flow or no-independence-of-thought), if you love to hear other people’ stories of success and triumphs but are not ready to discover and unleash yours, if you are comfortable hiding yourself under the ugly face of insecurity and self-hate, if stories of near-misses inspire you, if you are happy and satisfied with where you are, and finally if you are convinced that you are at your best and don’t need to find that missing link. If these descriptions reflect your thought process then you don’t have to read further, but if they are a stack opposite of what you desire, then congratulations you have come to the right place, and I promise your life will never remain the same again.

How are we influenced as we grow older?

In the womb, we were 100 percent free from the outside influence, I cannot say if we had thoughts but if it were to be then they were independent and free from influences as well.

I like to think of a new birth as a unique solution to a unique problem that the world currently faces or that she would face in the future. Hence, every conception was divinely orchestrated for a divine purpose.

Life starts when we are born! I wonder why babies cry at birth, could it be because we are now out of the comfort and security of the womb to the awakening of this harsh world? I doubt if anyone knows why. But from there on, the baby depends on the parents for food, warmth, love, and survival generally; however, after some months or a few years, he/she realizes that they are separate from the parents and the intrapersonal conflict kicks in, the desire to do as they please versus the need to strike the balance between harmony with family and ‘self’ sets the tone for an epic inner battle (the battle between the role as a child and individuality).
As we begin to make friends and even welcome a brother or a sister, the responsibility and the influence on our individuality increases. Our peers pressure us to try out things and at the same time we are pressured to be of good character and uphold the family values which often than not we do not always agree with. Gradually, we are influenced by so many things that our individuality never seems to see the day light however hard it tries to come to the fore.
Just as Petroleum Engineers explore for oil and gas in the deep seas and the weirdest of places, so a child begins exploration, we begin to ask more questions, the need to explore and find answers is increased, our natural instincts begin to surface but so also is the pressure to conform to acceptable norms. We want to know the things that make us happy or sad, the things we love etc., this quest provides us with some answers but again we are caught up between satisfying our innermost desires and doing what everyone else expects of us. For fear of being scolded or rejected we often succumb to fit in, and this affects almost every aspect of our lives, from the choice of food, music, clothes, hairstyle, to the kind of people we hang out with etc.
The gap between our individuality and conforming to the rest widens even further when we start college and decide on our majors. Often than not we abandon our innermost selves as we bid to become engineers, doctors, nurses, pharmacists, etc. and wrestle to become the best of what society has designed for us rather than truly becoming us. Of course, some will never go to college but we all have a common point…job… where we are all expected to fit into a box and deliver expected results…conformity at the highest level.
Ah we are here now! After all is said and done we still feel empty, unfulfilled, and maybe left wondering about our legacy. Um… the time of self-reflection beckons, reality sinks in, yes, I have a house, a car, a family etc. but then I still feel like there is something missing. We then seek to reconcile ourselves to the very purpose for which we were born in the first place, those who are lucky may find their way back but those who are not, will just leave unnoticed, like they were never here, the purpose for which they were born was never reached and the earth is deficient in that area because of their lack of understanding and knowledge of the self.

These influences confuse us to think that our roles are who we are. That is why you meet someone for the first time and they introduce themselves as thus:

Hey! I am Michael. I am a father of 20 lol,

A loving husband, I have 13 sisters and 5 brothers…just kidding

I have an awesome job working as an engineer at X-company.

As you can see that is a typical introduction and all that it highlights are roles. We must separate our roles from who we are, I know this is complicated but I promise to simplify it as we continue this journey. Just grab a cup of coffee, recline on the couch, I will be right back!

Boom…. Examine your life!

Why should you examine your life?

Well according to Socrates “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Self-evaluation will help you with:

Self-Discovery: there is truth in Socrates’ statement. Why? Of what use is it if you are not living your life but someone else’? barely existing as a human being is miserable that is why everyone desires to live life to the fullest. Self-examination will help you to unmask the fake-self that has replaced your true-self, it will help you to see the difference between who you truly are versus who you think you are, it will help you to dissect and separate yourself from the achievements and roles, it will present to you thought-provoking questions that will break the superficial satisfaction you attach your self-worth to, and finally bring you face-to-face to your true self.
Self-Awareness: this is the second reason you should examine yourself. After you discover your true-self, knowledge of the self becomes paramount…Loa Tzu remarked: “The one who knows others is wise, but the one who knows himself is enlightened.” Now you must become aware of your inner emotions, thoughts, desires, strengths and weaknesses, the things that make you thick, your instruments of peace and happiness. You must reconcile yourself to your PURPOSE.
Self-Acceptance: is one thing to know who you are, another to accept it. Having had the full knowledge of the self through self-awareness, you must accept the challenge that was divinely orchestrated for you to live life rather than just exist. Honestly, when reality sets in, when we are faced with our purpose, we could become nervous and scared, is all right to be afraid but now is not the time to run away, rather, it is the time to accept who you are and enjoy the journey. There will be somethings that you may not like about yourself but instead of rejecting those parts of you or being in denial, you must accept the things you cannot change and change the ones you can.
Self-Appreciation: it is awesome to accept who you are because you are unique. But it is not always easy to appreciate ourselves especially if we wish we were someone else visa vies feeling inadequate…thoughts of how I wish I was taller, had blue eyes, long hair, more handsome or beautiful, and the list continues. We mention all the things we wish we had while forgetting all the awesome things we have. Listen, no one is perfect, that person you wish you were like him or her, wishes he/she was someone else or even you. So just accept yourself for who you are and appreciate and love yourself because this is the only way you will be happy, satisfied, and fulfilled.
Become: the last thing is to become what you were born to be, explore the world from its length and breadth, search for all the arsenals you need to achieve your purpose, refuse to limit yourself, dream as big as you want because there is no crime for doing so…allow your imagination to traverse you to places no one has ever thought of and bring them to reality. Discover, dream, and explore so that at the time of your passing, the world will consider herself blessed to have had you graced her with your beauty and uniqueness because your imprints will not go unnoticed.

The conclusion of the matter is knowing who you are, accepting and appreciating cum loving yourself is not only beneficial to you but to everyone else. So, who do you think you are? Who are you truly? What are the things that make you…you? The world is waiting for you to self-actualize, what are you waiting for? Would you accept the challenge to find yourself and become who you were born to be?

Hopefully I have inspired you to find yourself! Thank you for reading.

What do you think about this article?

Please leave your comments and share!

10 Things We Should Never Take for Granted

It is often said that the best things of life are the simplest things. We humans like to complicate things so that the simplest things are made complex and the ones that cannot be made so are taken for granted. Over the years I have come to realize that indeed the most important things are not expensive, in fact, money cannot buy them, for instance, money can buy lust, attraction and power but it cannot buy true love, it maybe able to buy influence but not the truth, definitely not true friendship, peace of mind, time and the list continues, not because money is not important but because these things cannot be bought. Check the links at the end of this article for more things money cannot buy.

As you go through this list, make a note of all the things you have being taking for granted and decide to make a 360 degree turn today. Appreciate these things and watch your life change from ingratitude to gratitude, sadness to happiness, complaint to contentment, comparison to appreciation.

God’s Mercy: no one can claim that they are alive today because of their righteousness, we fall short every day and it is only by God’s mercy that we are still breathing. Romans 6:1-2 tells us not to take this mercy for granted and we shouldn’t.
A Mother’s love: after God’s mercy, this should be the top priority. No sane person should ever take his/her mother for granted. Imagine the pains she had to go through to birth you and the sleepless nights, how she made sure you had enough to eat even when it meant for her to starve or work two jobs. Please don’t ever take your parents for granted, pick up the phone right now and call them, tell them how grateful you are and make things right with them. I wish I could call my mom right now to thank her for carrying me for 9 months and going through the pains of child-birth but I can’t because she is in heaven.
Genuine Love: as highlighted earlier we can’t buy true love. There are so many people who have gone to the grave beyond without knowing how it feels like to be loved unconditionally, they neither gave nor received it. Maybe they gave but never received it or they received it but never gave it. So if you find that someone who loves you or vice versa, don’t hold back and don’t take it for granted.
A True Friend: true friends are nearly non-existent because almost everyone is about “what’s in it for me”. Is so hard to find that person who would stand by you, offer that support and encouragement when you need them most and carry you if need be. Whenever I think of a true friend I remember Samwise “Sam” Gamgee and Frodo Baggins in the Fellowship of the Ring movie. The role Sam (Frodo’s best friend) played to ensure that his best friend succeeds in his mission to cast the ring into the lake of fire reflects true friendship.“In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the old they are a comfort and aid in their weakness, and those in the prime of life they incite to noble deeds.” Aristotle. “My dad said to me growing up: When all is said and done, if you can count all your true friends on one hand, you’re a lucky man.” Josh Charles
Time: time is probably everything and it is so sad to see people take this valuable commodity for granted. God gives us 24 hours every day, some people use it wisely while others not so wisely. They give it away so cheaply as if it can be recovered, you cannot achieve anything tangible if you don’t know how to manage your time, honestly speaking, you should be stingy with it. Remember time is money! Agreed that money is not everything but the lack of it makes life miserable.
Don’t take Yourself for granted: You are here for a reason and this world would have been incomplete without you. Think about this, there is no one else with your finger prints; you are unique and don’t take this for granted.
Don’t take anyone for granted: everyone is unique and equal before God. Even if you are highly placed in the society, well-educated, have a good job, have a good family etc just know that our differences are the things that make us unique. Imagine if everyone was like you; oh my gosh life will lack the varieties that spice things up.
Family: when everyone else fails you, your family will be right there to take you in. Value and cherish your family, they are your roots without them there is no you.
Don’t despise humble beginnings: the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step, Rome was not built in a day, and nothing worthwhile was ever built with the speed of light, my point is, good things take time so value and celebrate the baby steps.
Experiences: everything happens for a reason, in my opinion, there are no coincidences. So when things happen focus on the lessons and the takeaways, enjoy and savor those good moments, as for the bad ones, look for the silver lining (nothing is 100% bad or good) because nothing lasts forever.

Please share, leave your comments and like this article.

Continue reading “10 Things We Should Never Take for Granted”

Evaluate Before You Act

Guest Post by Sibyl Joseph
Since December of 2015, when I made the decision to live for Christ, I have come to realize how important it is to stop and take stock of my personal walk with God from time to time. Self-evaluation has helped and continues to help me to know where I am at as I strive to grow in my relationship with God. This is a pragmatic step because then I know that I am armed with the fore-knowledge that regardless of the obstacles and challenges that I face, God guarantees that He will allow me to achieve greater things in the future through Him. It is very tempting to make bad decisions when things don’t go as planned, hence, the significance of truly evaluating our present situation in the light of God’s word cannot be overstated, especially when it comes in the form of God’s discipline. Hebrews 12:4-11 elaborates on the encouraging words about how God disciplines the ones He loves, and also how we must accept this discipline as an act of endearment that can produce great change in righteousness as well as peace.

Furthermore, we can become blind or even be deceived by Satan of where we think we are versus where we actually are with God, this lack of clear understanding of our position with God could lead to a lack of true change and/or transformation Romans 12:2 teaches.
I recently studied out God’s discipline in my life which lead me to Hebrews 2:1. I realized that in my walk with God I had drifted away from Biblical standards simply because I didn’t take the time to evaluate where I was at today, who I used to be in the past, and where I knew I wanted to be tomorrow. I needed to once again look at the Bible as a reflection of my own heart and accept who I had allowed myself to become, but more importantly, who I knew I wanted to imitate, Christ himself as clearly highlighted in the book of James 1:22-25
I heard a lesson the other day from one of my favorite pastors in our movement, Andrew Smellie, who leads the Nigerian church where he said (and this is not verbatim): if you can remember a time when you used to be more fired up, more faithful, more devoted, more loving, etc. then that’s a sign that you’ve drifted away. Instantly I was blown away because my answer to every question asked was “yes”, I could remember a time that I was more of all of the above.
Revelations 2:2-5 presents an excellent example of a church in the Bible that had everything perfect. Jesus says “consider the height you’ve fallen” meaning that there was a time they were on top before they fell or drifted away. Because they didn’t evaluate where they really were to see how far they had fallen behind the pecking order, Jesus held that crucial one flaw against them unless they repented.
So, where am I going with all of this? Overall, no matter what point in your walk with God that you’re at, take the time to evaluate yourself, and you can apply this to your daily life in the world as well. If you find yourself in the same position as I was, if every single one of your answers to those same questions is a “yes”, then it’s time to act! Just make the decision to repent and turn your life around. Remember the love you had for Christ at first and the fact that you can do even greater things as Jesus puts it in John 14:12. Make a plan to achieve the goals you had in the beginning for yourself and find ways to hold yourself accountable. Tell others your goals and share your plans with them so that they can help keep you on track and so that you can pay close attention in avoidance of the slow and steady drift to faithlessness.

Please leave your thoughts, like and share.

BEDTIME ROUTINE: 10 TIPS TO HELP YOU CATCH 8 HOURS OF SLEEP & WAKE UP @ 6 AM MOTIVATED

Let’s face it, who wouldn’t want everyday to be productive? Your guess is as good as mine, we all desire productivity.
Highlighted in this article, are 10 tips to inspire you to get enough rest and start your day super motivated.

As requested by some of my readers to make a post on some tips to catch 8 hours of sleep and wake up at 6 AM super motivated because they simply cannot wake up at 4:30 AM given that less than 8 hours of sleep is not enough for them, I have obliged and prepared this post specifically for them.

If you are anything like me then going to bed early is not your thing. The midnight seems to be the magical moment where the entire universe come together in harmony; peace and tranquility rule. This breeds creative thinking; and for a writer, a deep thinker, a problem solver, an achiever, a creative hub, the “never-enough type”, “I need-more type”, “I know I can do more type” you just want to seize the opportunity and delve into doing your thing. But as with every other thing in life, there is always a repercussion when we choose to defy nature; a bad night sleep means a bad day occasioned with poor decision-making. Therefore, the importance of getting a good night sleep cannot be overemphasized, God created it to help us refresh and regain all the energy dispensed during the day.

Four days ago, I was brainstorming on a new blog I wanted to start precisely in the oil and gas industry. It started off at about 7 PM and I could not go to bed until 5:30 AM yet I could not arrive at a decision but I had valuable insights to help my quest. This was not the first time this had happened and so I have some experience as to why we often suffer from insomnia. I continued the brainstorming the next day after the day’s work but this time, I approached it differently. I achieved the desired results and went to bed early (11 PM) and was up at 4:30 AM; of course, the insights from the previous night was helpful.

In the 5 tips to wake up @ 4:30 AM published recent, I highlighted 5 hints that get me out of bed @ 4:30 AM. similarly, I have come up with 10 easy tips to help you catch 8 hours of sleep and wake up at 6 AM, super-motivated and ready to kick the day in the butt and achieve high productivity.

Here are the tips…

Leave office work in the office/homework on the reading table: For most people, the temptation to continue the work at home to meet up deadline is irresistible, I have been guilty of this as well; oh, that homework or presentation is due tomorrow so I need to finish it tonight.Question: why leave the homework or projects till the last-minute?
Note: we must balance work and life to be happy and productive.

Tip: Eliminate the things that waste your time and start projects/homework way early before the deadline approaches. Try your best to do as much work as you can and leave the rest for the next day.

2. Eat dinner at least 3 hours before bed: Night time meals should be early and lighter than breakfast and lunch. You will struggle to sleep well if your body is busy breaking down the food you just ate.

3. Briefly read your favorite relaxation novel to help you relax your mind: This is helpful because when you’re trying to sleep you don’t need your brain stimulated but relaxed.

4. Play bedtime instrumentals: if you are not a fan of reading novels then I have another awesome tip for you. Play your favorite bedtime instrumentals or music, if you opt for music, avoid tracks that stimulate you or push you to want to dance 😊 instead of slowly taking you to the wonderland of unconscious beauty.

5. Put away all gadgets: personally, what keeps me from sleeping are my gadgets–mobile phone and laptop. The temptation to respond to that beep on messenger, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn, Youtube, WhatsApp, and Facebook is so irresistible. To resist this and stick to my routine, I just put all of them away.

6. Turn off the lights: some people like to sleep with the lights on but not me, somehow it pierces through my closed eyes and feels like being outside, I just experience inner brightness that sparks my imaginative powers which does not help to relax my mind.

7. Early to bed early to rise. Set your alarm for 5:50 AM and go to bed at 10 PM. More about the proverb “EARLY TO BED EARLY TO RISE” here.

8. Keep your alarm clock far from your reach: this is helpful because you may be tempted to stretch out your hand and hit the snooze button😊.

9. Wake up and stretch when the alarm goes off: this is the first thing I do because it helps awaken my body. For more on the importance of stretching in the morning click here.

10. Get out of bed and stimulate yourself. Play your favorite song, or motivational clip or whatever it is that gets you excited.

That is it…thank you for reading. If you find this article helpful or you think there is someone out there who might benefit from it please share and don’t forget to leave your personal bedtime routines, and suggestions in the comment section below.

5 TIPS TO WAKE UP @ 4:30 A.M

To be productive, we must utilize the time we have and use it judiciously.

This also means a commitment to excellence which does not come by chance but by tactful planning and maximum effort.

I have compressed my wake-up routine into 5 steps to share with you and hopefully it buoys you to rise early and enjoy productive days ahead.

“EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE.” Go to bed early, 10 PM.

Set your alarm clock for 4:20 A.M: use the residual 10 minutes to allow your body to become more aware of external stimuli.

Keep your alarm clock far from your reach: this is helpful because you may be tempted to stretch out your hand and hit the snooze button😊.
Wake up and stretch when the alarm goes off: this is the first thing I do because it helps awaken my body.

Get out of bed and stimulate yourself. Play your favorite song, or motivational clip or whatever it is that gets you excited. For me I pray and read the Bible, I love soccer and I am a Manchester United fan, so in the morning I like to read sport news specifically soccer especially if we beat Manchester City, Liverpool FC, or Chelsea😊, and watch a motivational clip as well, then I write.

What are some of the things you do to wake up early? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section.