85% of the world’s population are affected by low self-esteem. Source: The self-esteem book, Dr Joe Rubino.
Now that is a stunning statistic, definitely not in a good sense.
What is self-esteem? You may ask!
Dictionary dot-com defined self-esteem as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.”
synonyms for this term include:
self-respect, pride, dignity, self-regard, faith in oneself.
I have been around people with very low self-esteem (mostly religious or church people) and in the past, I had wondered why some of these people suffered from this menace, however, it became clear after I closely investigated the possible cause.
You see, self-esteem talks about the “self”, but from a religious standpoint, we consider anything that promotes the “self” as bad, although God Himself doesn’t, in fact the Bible is full of self assuring powerful affirmations that can change people’s lives for the best, see for yourself… What does the Bible say about self-esteem? However, there are people with varying and contrary opinions about how we should treat ourselves in order not to appear conceited and prideful, their intentions might not be bad but the way they go about it produces damaging results to the individual’s self-worth. Proponents of this belief system engage in derogatory self talks such as I am dumb, I don’t deserve this and that, I don’t expect big things to happen unless God comes down from heaven, I am not good enough because of my sins, I don’t matter in the grand scheme of things etc. These people are quick to judge others who are their stack opposite, call you names and associate you with negative phrases such as you are prideful, you are selfish, you don’t ask for advice, your heart is not right and you need to check it to find out why all of a sudden you have become so bold and confident lol, you will go to hell if you don’t repent and humble yourself, and the list is inexhaustive. So in order to fit in, majority of the people go to war with the “self” either consciously or unconsciously, being propelled by deceptive religious dogmas that seek to hijack the mind with the sole purpose of enslaving the freedom of thought that God has so freely given to us.
What is the percentage of religious people globally?
84 percent of the world population has faith; a third are Christian. “Worldwide, more than eight-in-ten people identify with a religious group,” says a new comprehensive demographic study of more than 230 countries and territories conducted by the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life.
Funny how 84 percent of the world population is religious and the percentage of those suffering from low self-esteem account for about 85 percent. It can be inferred that majority of these people belong to one religion or the other.
I will speak as a disciple of Yeshua (Jesus Christ). My believe in God through Yeshua should not enslave me, I shouldn’t feel less of a person because I am a Christian, in fact, I should feel so much power, confidence, poise and every good thing that follow the decision of becoming a disciple of Christ; The Truth Sets Us Free. I am glad to say that more than before, I am very confident, I have very high self-esteem, I love myself and others, and I love God because I chose to read the Bible for my own convictions and I don’t care about religious dogmas and false doctrines that are all over the place to enslave people.
How Can You Break Out From This Low Self Esteem Menace?
- know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made by God the creator. Is it true? Find out.
- Avoid people who constantly make you feel worthless, who want to teach you how to think or act. People who micro-manage you, who tell you to change from who you are to who they want you to be by imitating exactly what they do. Maybe imitating certain aspects of things you like about a person isn’t that bad but remember that there is no iota of originality in imitation, and what is more? it is a betrayal of the self. In my opinion, imitation has more detrimental effects than the it benefits as highlighted by these two articles: 3 Ways Imitation Can Kill The Innovation Inside You, 5 Reasons Why You Should Simply Learn and Improve Instead of Imitation. Don’t get me wrong, you can imitate someone’s faith, enthusiasm, drive, positive affirmations etc. but for goodness sakes why imitate how someone walks, talks, preaches, eats? why imitate their style? what about your style?
- Be around people who support you. Good friends who listen and speak to you from the heart, who enjoy spending quality time with you (maybe a cup of coffee every now and then, a walk in the park etc.). Those who want to genuinely walk with you and see you improve and achieve incredible things in life. People who ask about your problems and genuinely listen and never tell you what to do but only offer advice if and only if you ask for one (or who ask to offer you one if you are too shy to ask).
- Embrace inner voice modification. Come on! no one is an island; there are times when we feel so low especially when we feel we are not where we ought to be in comparison to others (trust me you want to avoid comparing yourself to others), that we begin to indulge in negative thoughts that do not benefit us in any way. In these situations, you must modify your self talk, filter all the negative thoughts that flood your mind and only hold on to the positive ones. Yesterday I was with a friend who was telling me how his week went and somewhere in between the story, he pretty much affirmed that he was a very dumb person. I allowed him to finish, however, I suggested he modifies his use of self descriptive words because they have profound effects on our emotional and psychological wellbeing. We make bad decisions that place us in awkward and bad situations but we are not those decisions, we must not associate our identity with those mistakes but only learn from them and move on. Avoid damaging self talks like “I’m such a fat pig, no wonder I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”, “I hate my job, but no one would hire a loser like me.”, “I’m such a failure.”, “I’m so dumb.”, “I will never amount to something in life.”
- Accept that you are not perfect. Honestly, people who suffer from low self-esteem are those who compare their imperfections to other people’s supposed perfections. Truth be told, no one is perfect and you have to realize this fact and focus on your strengths and embrace your weaknesses.
- Set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time bound) goals. The fear of failure is one of the reasons people don’t like to set goals, but you have to know that if you don’t fail, growth is unlikely because if you don’t try new things, you cannot advance, and when you try new things, sometimes you will fail. It is alright to fail but it is not alright to quit and accept that you are a failure, you have to be resilient and accept that failure is a springboard to success, in fact the most successful people had the most failures. Use the SMART model when setting your goals and clearly state why you want to achieve them. For instance, I will write 3 articles about thought leadership this week (beginning from 4/30/2018 – 5/7/2018) to inspire my readers to lead themselves better, I will run a 3k every morning to improve my physical fitness, I will save 30% from my pay check every week to pay off my debt etc.
- Take calculated risks and be resilient. How do you feel about those who took risks and followed through their dreams and later became successful? Inspired and motivated right? That’s right! You too can become that person whose story would inspire others to dare and become who they were born to be. But is not going to happen unless you act; I would have loved to guarantee you that you will succeed but I am sorry to disappoint you, there are no guarantees but you wont know how it will all turn out unless you act. One thing I can guarantee you though is, as long as you don’t give up, as long as you continue to improve yourself, persevere in the pursuit of your dreams by taking practical steps to see them come through, you will succeed.
I am not a therapist but I can support you in your quest to attain high self esteem. Just use the “Contact Form” in the homepage and send me an email.
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